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As easy as ABC… or is it?

Finally! I took the first step towards sharing my thoughts, life experiences and considerations with the world. WOOHOO! Ok, that was my attempt at making my post funny from the start – my best friend always advises me not to try to be comical because it isn’t my forte. I had to try tough! Not that I expect a large audience and, in all honesty, I have no experience in writing except for the essays I had to write to be able to graduate, the few Facebook posts I have shared now and then and the occasional email. By the way, it is still a mystery to me how I managed to be become an university graduate. My understanding of punctuation and prose is a bit rough ’round the edges; it also takes me quite a long time to interpret texts and to produce a piece.

To top it all off,  my thoughts often go off on a tangent giving way to frustration and rant – such as now, can you tell? Oh!, did I mentioned English is my second language? I remember the ‘stomach flip’ feeling I got every single time I waited for my essay to be marked, I even remember me wondering how to properly write an essay. I’d say it took a few good mentors to help me see it through, for which I am most grateful! 🙂

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Still, at this point in my life it feels good to express myself through writing, the fact that I am choosing to do it in English only reflects that I currently live in an English speaking country. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I do, however, believe in honesty and since this is my first post I considered fair to be open about my circumstances.

It is quite exciting to venture out to an unknown territory; it is offering me an opportunity for self-expression that is otherwise challenging in other aspects of my life. The speed at which everyone communicates verbally around me often saturates my mind and limits my capacity of reply, when this happens I get to use my secret weapons: lip reading, a smile, and a nod of my head. I also pull away one or two friends and make a smaller group. So you see, finding a quite moment for thought and self-expression never was as exciting for me as it is now, so that is that.

I guess what follows now is to say a few things about myself? I love music and I love to sing now and then, I even used to ‘sing for my supper’ and during that time I lived in Venezuela. Alike music, I enjoy quite a bit of video editing, my family and friends have enjoyed hours upon hours of home made movies – they all watched voluntarily, I swear! I love Astronomy, to watch the night sky during a crisp winter’s night and to hunt for the northern lights whenever there is an alert on the go. Natural and social sciences are both of personal interest too, along with all things that medicine has to offer (at least the one I can manage to understand). I love a good movie and TV series although I absolutely loath reality TV.

I am a wildflowers fanatic, with red poppies being my favorite flower. 21199640_10212931946870075_2843180129248106340_o.jpgI have a designated patch in my garden for wildflowers and I am planning to expand it the following summer. I enjoy to forage summer berries to make jam for the winter months and to cook for my family from scratch whenever time allows. I am also on the hunt for new ways of economize our food supplies even if that means throwing odds and sods in a pan and pray for the best! But most of all, I like to stretch my mind and to spend time in the company of people who will help me to do so.

Phew! That wasn’t that hard, was it?

See you soon.

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Life: the day it took me by surprise.

My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and they both remarried and had children; that makes me the oldest sister to both sides of my family. My father had two girls whereas my mother had two girls and a boy, and we all ended up living in very different places – quite far away from each other. I came to live in the UK nearly 16 years ago, my mother and her three children went to live in Spain about 10 years ago, and my father, step mother and one sister still live in Venezuela. The remaining sibling just recently emigrated to Chile, less than a year ago.

If you have been following the news you’d guess I haven’t been back to my home country, it is only becoming worse by the day to be there – even as a visitor. My sister and I support our family from abroad the best we can, she sends funds from Chile to keep them fed and I send funds for my other sister to finish her medical training.  I haven’t personally seen my father in over 16 years; my mother, on the other hand, I get to see every summer.

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After my father had his third heart attack I made myself accustomed to the idea of losing him way before my mother. This thought was underpinned by the fact that he lives in a country where medicine is in short supply, and healthcare is non-existent to the poor. Due to medicine shortages, he has been without his heart  medication for nearly a year, and we believe he remains strong due to the walking he has to do to find food to buy – a blessing in disguise of sorts. I talked myself into accepting the inevitable, I didn’t want to be taken by surprise. Every night I go to bed I remind myself, that maybe tonight, I will receive that phone call to tell me my father had died. I thought I was in control, and that life was not going to shock me. I mean, both of my parents are way in their 60’s with my dad turning 70 next year, and mum is in a good place if anything happened?

 

My plan proved to be effective up until Christmas 2017, when my world crumbled to pieces on Boxing day (Dec 26th); life won one over me leaving me powerless and shocked. Mum became very ill on Christmas day and had to be rushed to 1915316_1284860198260_1078608_n.1hospital, and she was admitted to investigate what was wrong with her. After tests the news were shocking: a brain scan reveled 7 brain tumors, she was later diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and had only weeks to live. Mum past way this year on May the 7th; it didn’t matter how healthy she looked or had access to healthcare because life took me by surprise. It did it in the worst possible way I have ever experienced to the present day. I wish I had seen it coming, we all wish the same thing my siblings and I. We are all very grateful for the outstanding care mum received at Hospital Provincial de Toledo, Spain; the staff went over and beyond the their duty every day mum was there. We couldn’t have gone through it without their support.

 

Dad seems to be going strong, and although I’ve just learned I cannot fool life’s ways I still go to bed fearful of that phone call. I don’t it to torment myself, I do it to protect myself from the pain of losing him without a warning. The shock of losing mum so fast is still with me, I think it will never leave me. I was hugging mum beginning of this year, now she’s gone. I love you, dad; I miss you, mum x